Tears in the borscht
Sunday, 15 November 2009 | 16:35
A difficult weekend. But why? No outwards change; sunny skies; money in my pocket… But no free time. What moments I steal end up inducing guilt, because I could/should be doing something else more productive. Four projects on the go, running behind on nearly all of them, many personal connections left in the dust too. Bad feelings all around. And yet, and yet… The air is crisp and sweet, the ground firm and crackling, the sun a deep gold, the wind sharp. Autumn is upon us, and I struggle to crawl out from beneath my burdens to enjoy it; even watching it from afar, windows between us, is a small joy. It is not unrelenting; there are always moments of life breathed into me. Bouncing around town from one small ethnic shop to another – Polish, German, Italian; walking hand in hand over frosty evening ground, just as the stars being poking through the darkness above; eating a home-cooked meal whilst camped out on the living room floor, in a pile of blankets; these things matter. And for all the uncertainty that’s out there, there is still something to lean on, something to count on, even if its lifespan is yet unknown.
